Kid-Safe Chemicals Act
We often hear news clips or read articles about the dangers of exposing our children to a variety of products due to their chemical make-up. We’ve also seen news clips and articles about the food we eat and the pesticides that can cover our fruits and vegetables, not to mention the foods that we buy that are made using many chemicals for a variety of reasons: to thicken, to thin out, to color, to stay fresh, etc… What about the water we drink? What about the air we breathe. The list is almost endless.
You will be shocked to see this video. It is almost hard to comprehend. The Kid-Safe Chemicals Act will change the current, and very lenient, regulations for new chemicals that are used in our environment, in our food and in our personal care products. An overhaul of our nation’s chemical regulatory law is CRITICAL.
See the facts about babies that are being born pre-polluted with as many as 300 industrial chemicals in their bodies when they enter the world. It is frightening…
Why Children Lie and What You can do About it
One time or another, all children lie. It’s just a fact.
What made me research this topic is that my 5-year old son began kicking it up a notch with the lies. I can easily understand why he is lying about certain things, but what was more curious to me is how did he actually learn to lie.
Is it a trait that humans are born with? Or, is it something they actually get exposed to and learn to do from others.
Susan Epstein, Parent Coach at ParentingPowers.com says “Children lie for a number of reasons.”
Susan adds “The most common reason is for fear of getting in trouble and disappointing parents or feeling shame. They took something they shouldn’t have. The parent finds out and gets angry. Best response: ” What you did is wrong..but we all make mistakes. Please don’t do this again.” In other words…if you don’t shame your child but correct the behavior instead it isn’t scary or humiliating when they do make a mistake and lie about it. Children also lie because they want something very badly. For instance, “I went to Disney Land” from a 5 year old…could mean “I wish very much I could go to Disney Land.” The best response a parent could say would be: “I know you wish you had gone”…in other words teach the child the difference between wish and truth.”
Children are not Naturally Deceitful
As stated above by Parent Coach, Susan Epstein, “The most common reason is fear of getting in trouble and disappointing parents or feeling shame.” Creating excessive fear in a child may actually reinforce their desire to lie rather than solve the problem. To avoid this issue, create an environment where your child feels comfortable telling the truth. Make sure your expectations are not unrealistically high for their age.
Dr. Benjamin Spock says that “When a child lies regularly, it may mean that she is under too much pressure of some kind.” As a parent, your job is to work with others that are close to your child such as their teacher, to find out what is wrong. Begin by saying something like “You don’t have to lie to me. Tell me what the trouble is and we’ll see what we can do.” Your child may not even know the answer to this question right away, but be patient and it will pay off in the end.
Is Lying Related to the Intelligence of Your Child?
More recent studies show that lying is related to intelligence. Lying demands both cognitive development and social skills that honesty simply doesn’t require. If your child is already starting to tell little white lies at a very early age, such as by the time they are 2 or 3, it could actually mean that your child is very intelligent.
By the age of 4 most children will have lied to avoid punishment of some kind. Many books and other resources will even advise that you should just let the lies go at this age because they will grow out of it. The opposite is actually true…the truth is they’ll grow into it if allowed. Make sure you are explaining why it is important to tell the truth and not lie.
As they age, not only will they lie to avoid punishment, but also to increase their “power”, their sense of control, and as a way of getting more attention. Many older children will actually make up stories about who they’ve met or things they’ve done, just so others will be impressed by them.
When Should You be Concerned About Your Child Lying
If your child has a sudden dramatic increase in lying, it can be a danger sign of other more serious concerns. Excessive lying is often a symptom of other underlying issues.
Children who don’t feel good about themselves often lie much more. We should be trying to determine what the issue may be without expressing anger at the dishonesty. It is important to make sure our children don’t have low self-esteem. Low self-esteem can be the root of many other future concerns.
Another reason that children begin to increase their dishonesty is because their parents may be too intrusive. As children get older, their desire for privacy also increases. They maintain privacy, individuality and control by controlling the amount of information that they share with their parents. Too much “where were you”, “what did you do”, “who were you with” will eventually lead to dishonesty.
Children often react by lying when they know or sense that there is an issue in the family. If parents are fighting, divorcing or if there are other issues within their family, this may be the way they vie for attention and work at getting the fighting parties to work together again.
Acting out can be a cry for help.
Conclusion
Children may lie at all different ages and for all different reasons. Do your research and pay attention so that their lying is not a red flag for more concern. Get involved, but do not smother them. You may even make your family bond stronger.
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