5 Ways to Handle Cyber Bullying

February 12, 2010 · Posted in Kids Health and Safety · Comment 

iStock_Cyber_Bullying_000005912807XSmallSocially speaking, going to school can be a minefield.  Granted, your child is there to learn but school is where they spend the majority of their day and the reality is that they will have to learn to interact with other kids.  Sometimes part of the social scene can include bullying.  In this day and age, when some of this bullying is happening online, this distasteful act is called cyber bullying.

Cyber bullying is defined as the use of online tools to harass someone.  The harassment can take on so many different forms.  It can be threatening messages, unwanted pornographic material, hate crimes and impersonating some one else just to name a few.  Cyber bullying is conducted through social websites, email messages, IM messages and chat rooms. The cyper bully uses these means to terrorize another person and harm them with or without laying a finger on them.

This form of torture has become a real concern. I’m sure you’ve seen such stories in the news lately. It’s bad enough when kids get pushed around and bullied in school by people who don’t like them or who want to pick on them for no real reason. Online, the audience is much larger. Someone who doesn’t even know your child could participate, just because they find it exciting.  As a parent, you are not powerless. You probably know your child better than anyone so use that to your advantage and educate you kids about cyber bullying. Here are some tips to help:

  1. Talk to your child often. Frequently communicating with your child will alert you when something even slightly changes in their behavior. If your child is normally a happy outgoing child who turns withdrawn may have something going on. Talk to them about cyber bullying before it starts and let them know they can confide in you about anything.
  1. Keep threatening messages. If your child does become a victim of cyber bullying, keep copies of all “evidence” for possible future use. Your ISP can trace the messages and find where they originated. For most ISPs, explicit or threatening messages are against their operating policies and they may keep a very close watch for them.
  1. Teach your child how to deal with the situation. First of all, make sure you and your child do not respond to the messages. It will only provoke the sender. Getting into a fight is not going to solve the problem either. Ask your child if they know how the whole situation began. If your child is psychologically affected by the bullying, a counselor could help your child to deal with the harassment. And, as always, just be there for your child. As you know, a parent’s love and support does make a huge difference in any situation, especially a negative one.  Amazon.com has a highly rated book to help with educating a teen on the topic of cyber bullying called Cyber-Safe Kids, Cyber-Savvy Teens: Helping Young People Learn To Use the Internet Safely and Responsibly.
  1. Call the police. When the bullying and harassment take on a threatening tone or involves pornography, call or visit the police station and file a report. They can use their resources to find the offending person. Even if they can’t pinpoint the person who originated the messages, they can trace them to a household and investigate it further.
  1. Don’t let your child become a part of the problem. Many times kids think that talking bad about someone online is harmless not realizing that there is always someone on the receiving end who is probably terrified. Discuss the effects of cyber bullying and the consequences if they are caught doing it.

Cyber bullying is a very real threat to kids. It is happening on a daily basis and often ends in tragedy. It can obviously destroy lives. You can help by taking precautions to prevent it as much as possible and learning to handle the situation if it occurs with your child.

There are so many resources out there on the topic of cyber bullying.  Here are some of my recommendations for teachers, parents and children:

Cyber Bullying: Bullying in the Digital Age

Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard: Preventing and Responding to Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying and Cyberthreats: Responding to the Challenge of Online Social Aggression, Threats, and Distress

Also, here are some great links to other cyber bullying resources online:

http://cyberbullying.us/blog/

9 Signs of Cyberbullying

Come back soon and learn more about the lingo in chat rooms, in texting and other social tools.

Sleep Well!

raelynn @ Kidz Comfort

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