As my own children are growing, we’ve been slowly adding little traditions into our lives as well.  We make a dinner of all of our favorite foods on Christmas Eve each year.  On New Year’s Eve we put a folding table in our family room and load it with all of our favorite snacks and we play Wii Sports and other games all night long until the ball drops.

Our traditions are not all centered around holidays though.  The kids have come up with a few traditions of their own.  They have named the first Saturday or October as “Role-Switching Day”.  The kids play the parents and the parents play the kids on this Saturday.  It has been pretty funny so far.

I’d love to hear your family traditions, not only around the holidays, but all year long.  Don’t be shy, let’s hear them all…..

Things are different now…different than when we adults were children.  There is more knowledge about the effects of the sun on our bodies, and as most of us know the ozone is being depleted causing less filtering of the sun’s ultraviolet (UV) radiation.   That being said, we and our kids need more protection from these harmful rays.

How to protect our kids

1. Do not allow skin to burn – this increases risk of future skin cancers
2. Avoid tanning & tanning beds
3. Generously apply sunscreen – it is recommended that you apply sunscreen 20 minutes before exposure to the sun.  Also, choose a minimum of 15 SPF protection.  Make sure it protects from both UVA & UVB rays.  Reapply every two hours even if it is cloudy outside, especially when children are sweating & swimming.
4. Choose protective clothing.  There are lots of choices out there now that actually provide UVA & UVB protection in the clothing.
5. Stay in the shade.
6. Make sure you are consuming enough vitamin D, which often times can be low due to the lack of sun exposure that we are allowed to have.
7. Babies that are 6 months old or younger should be kept out of the sun completely.
8. Pay attention to the expiration date on the sunscreen.

How to choose sunscreens

1. Choose broad-spectrum or multi-spectrum protection for both UVA & UVB rays.
2. Look for ingredients such as benzophenones (oxybenzone), cinnamates (octylmethyl cinnamate and cinoxate), sulisobenzone, salicylates, titanium dioxide, zinc oxide, avobenzone (Parsol 1789) and ecamsule (Mexoryl SX).
3. SPF 15 is typically sufficient.  If you have fair skin or a family history of cancer you should increase this to SPF 30 or more for added protection.
4. If you plan to sweat a lot or are going to be in the water, buy sunscreen that is meant for that.

Sunscreens for children

1. Buy a sunscreen designated for children.
2. Avoid sunscreens with para-aminobenzoic acid (PABA) and benzephenones like dioxybenzone, oxybenzone, or sulisobenzone, as these may irritate young skin.
3. For sensitive skin, look for titanium dioxide or zinc oxide instead of chemicals like para-aminobenzoic acid (PABA), dioxybenzone, oxybenzone, or sulisobenzone.  Also avoid sunscreens with alcohol, fragrances, or preservatives.

As always, enjoy the warm weather but be safe!

You’ll find some tips about composting, growing tomatoes and ways to involve your children on a previous post titled “Summer Gardening with Your Kids”.

Gardening Resources

This topic is almost endless when looking online, but I’ll mention the resources that I enjoy.  Some are related to organic gardening, including sites where you can order organic plants online.

• Burpee.com is a wonderful resource for almost every aspect of gardening…buying plants, seeds, gardening tips & tools, advice and videos.  This includes both veggie and flower gardening, organic and not.  I LOVE this site.
• The Natural Gardening Company is the oldest certified organic nursery in the USA.  You can purchase your seeds and plants online for shipping at the appropriate planting time for your zone.
• Ed Hume Seeds has a great resource for what to grow for a family of four.  They offer a seed planting chart.  This has been a great help to me.
• If space is an issue, check out How to Grow a Vertical Garden in Raised beds.
• If you live in an area like me, you’ll need to consider a fence to keep the critters out.  I found some great tips at OrganicGardening.com.  They offer tips for do-it-yourself fencing.

I’ve also found a fantastic blog called “5 Minutes for Mom” and they are giving away Love Your Veggies Books & Garden Supplies.  All you need to do is go to the blog and make a comment.  How easy is that.

I hope I’ve helped you a bit.  It is so important to make gardening a family oriented tradition.  We have a great time with it and my boys really love getting dirty.

Let me know if you have any great tips, ideas or other input….even if you  have a question, I’d love to hear from you and find you the answer you are looking for.

Thanks and happy gardening!

Rae Lynn @ Kidz Comfort

My boys are 6 and 7 years old, and fortunately they are still willing to snuggle.  The public displays of affection are decreasing, but they will still kiss me goodbye when I drop them off at school (albeit a quick smooch) and they will hug and kiss me goodnight, good morning, etc…

So why does this happen to so many families?  Many experts believe that there is an association with public displays of affection between child and parent that is somewhat stereotyped as being for babies by the child.  This is much more prevalent with boys and their mothers.

Parenting consultant Barbara F. Meltz suggests making light of your child’s wishes to not hug or kiss by joking around with your child, perhaps suggesting another way of saying goodbye or goodnight that is less “childish” in their eyes.  You can also create a “house rule” such as “bedtime requires a kiss from Mommy & Daddy”, but forgo kissing at other times.

There are always exceptions to this typical scenario of kids wanting less public affection from their parents as they age.  I’d love to hear your story.

For more good reading about raising a son, Meltz suggests:

• Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons From the Myths of Boyhood

• Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

• Packaging Boyhood: Saving Our Sons from Superheroes, Slackers, and Other Media Stereotypes

This is not an uncommon story.  More often than not are siblings competing in one way or another.   If it’s not for attention, then it is for recognition, an item or something else.   Sometimes it can be healthy such as wanting to have as many reward stickers on a chore chart as a sibling, but it can also lead to anger and resentment within a family if it crosses a line.  It can make a family game night very tense and not fun at all.

I recently read an article about minimizing competition between kids that I thought was meaningful and relevant.  It touches on five of the ways that you can help to eliminate competition between your own kids.

Do your kids show jealousy of each other?  Read more about Jealousy: 5 Ways to Minimize Competition Between Kids.

Sleep Well!

Rae @ Kidz Comfort

Often times, our children emulate us, whether we want them to or not.  Having low self-worth and/or low self-esteem can be very damaging to our own children.  It passes that quality on leading to bad decisions down the road.  Perhaps they start choosing the wrong friends, or their grades start to suffer…eventually leading to choosing a poor job that makes them unhappy, or getting married to the wrong person because they didn’t think they could do any better.

It’s not always easy.  It starts with us.  We cannot teach it without already feeling it.  If we don’t work on our own confidence first we cannot work on our child’s/children’s.   It has been said: “An effort made for the happiness of others lifts us above ourselves,” (Mrs. Lydia Maria Child).

As stated in so many ways in the following links, imparting positivity is the best gift we can give our children through exhibiting our own self-esteem.  Here are some ideas on how to “Pay it Forward”.

Thanks to Mom it Forward for their very inspiring post called “The Positivity Project: Teaching Kids Self-Esteem”

Thanks to Operation Beautiful for their inspiring blog about posting anonymous notes in public places for other women to see, spreading positivity and inspiring self-worth.

Be sure to check out Operation Beautiful’s articles under “Change the way you see – Not the way you look”.

Thank you and remember, YOU ARE TRULY BEAUTIFUL!

As a Mother, I am quite aware of all the stressful milestones that take place during the toddler and pre-school years. One of these stressful times happens to be transitioning from a crib to a big boy or girl bed. There are several tips and tricks that you can use to make this transition go smoothly and safely for both you and your child.

It can sometimes be difficult to determine when your child is ready to leave the crib. With this decision it is important that you follow the child’s lead. A sure sign is if your child can actually climb out of their crib. This can pose the risk for injury to your child. At young ages, children often do not have the coordination and stability to climb safely, not to mention the risk of falling several feet to the floor.

Children usually transition from their crib to a bed between the ages of 18 months and 36 months according to experts. If they are not climbing out of the crib yet, there is no need to rush it. Dr. Laura Jana, a general pediatrician in Denver, Colorado, and one of Dr. Spock’s experts says “there is no definitive answer to the question of when a child should be switched from a crib to a bed. Each family’s situation is different, and in many ways this issue really boils down to a matter of opinion.” One thing to consider is that the longer a child stays in a crib, the more attached they may become to it and transitioning to a bed may be more difficult.

There are a variety of things that you can try to make it easier on everyone involved. Once you’ve determined that it is time to abandon the crib, set a time-frame for the transition period. The reason for doing this is that it is often easier for the child if they see a bed set up in their room for a couple days while they continue to go to sleep in their own crib. This allows them to mentally adjust to it.

The type of bed that you transition them into is strictly a personal preference. Many choose to place a mattress on the floor initially so that there aren’t any accidental falls from the bed that are from too high up. There are thousands of different styles of beds available today from toddler beds to twin beds and larger. You can find themed beds, beds shaped like cars, canopy beds, etc…The list is endless. Keep in mind that the fancier the bed, the more costly it will probably be, also considering how many years they will be in this particular bed.

Allow them to help create their own space. Take them shopping for the bedding and accessories. Let them choose one special item that they can sleep with each night such as a new teddy bear or other soft cuddly item. Toddler size pillows are usually a better and safer choice than standard size pillows as they are more proportionate to the child’s smaller body. These ideas will comfort them while they try to adjust to their new sleeping arrangement.

Again, safety is always a priority. Be sure to have a means for keeping your child from falling out of the bed such as a bed rail. If the child’s bedside is up against a wall, another great safety item is the Bed Bumper for Big Kids. This will help to prevent nighttime bumps and boo-boos while your child tosses and turns in their sleep, creating a barrier between your child and their wall.

Gradually begin to let them nap in the new bed during the day if they are still taking naps. This is also a great way to actually be awake while they “react” to their new sleeping quarters. After several successful naps, begin getting excited with them about how big they are now. Let them help you disassemble the crib and remove it from the bedroom. Make the whole experience exciting and happy.

To prevent wandering around the house, a gate can be used to segregate them from the rest of the house, either by putting it in their doorway or by putting it in a hallway so that they can only access your room or their own room. Be sure that all precautions are taken with regards to child proofing your home.

It is very important that you are patient and give it time. If you are relaxed and loving during the whole process, your child will do fine and you will all sleep very well.

To sum it all up:

• The bedroom and home should be completely child proofed.
• Make their sleep area fun and interesting, allowing them to choose some décor.
• Make sure there are comforting items in the room; nightlights, stuffed animals.
• Reasonable transition period with new bed in room while child is still in crib.
• Start by having them sleep in the new bed during nap times.
• Be sure to segregate them from other areas of home by use of gate.
• Give it time.

What made me research this topic is that my 5-year old son began kicking it up a notch with the lies.  I can easily understand why he is lying about certain things, but what was more curious to me is how did he actually learn to lie.

Is it a trait that humans are born with?  Or, is it something they actually get exposed to and learn to do from others.

Susan Epstein, Parent Coach at ParentingPowers.com says “Children lie for a number of reasons.”

Susan adds “The most common reason is for fear of getting in trouble and disappointing parents or feeling shame.  They took something they shouldn’t have.  The parent finds out and gets angry.  Best response: ” What you did is wrong..but we all make mistakes.  Please don’t do this again.”  In other words…if you don’t shame your child but correct the behavior instead it isn’t scary or humiliating when they do make a mistake and lie about it.  Children also lie because they want something very badly.  For instance,  “I went to Disney Land” from a 5 year old…could mean “I wish very much I could go to Disney Land.”  The best response a parent could say would be:  “I know you wish you had gone”…in other words teach the child the difference between wish and truth.”

Children are not Naturally Deceitful

As stated above by Parent Coach, Susan Epstein, “The most common reason is fear of getting in trouble and disappointing parents or feeling shame.”  Creating excessive fear in a child may actually reinforce their desire to lie rather than solve the problem.  To avoid this issue, create an environment where your child feels comfortable telling the truth.  Make sure your expectations are not unrealistically high for their age.

Dr. Benjamin Spock says that “When a child lies regularly, it may mean that she is under too much pressure of some kind.”  As a parent, your job is to work with others that are close to your child such as their teacher, to find out what is wrong.  Begin by saying something like “You don’t have to lie to me.  Tell me what the trouble is and we’ll see what we can do.”  Your child may not even know the answer to this question right away, but be patient and it will pay off in the end.

Is Lying Related to the Intelligence of Your Child?

More recent studies show that lying is related to intelligence.  Lying demands both cognitive development and social skills that honesty simply doesn’t require.  If your child is already starting to tell little white lies at a very early age, such as by the time they are 2 or 3, it could actually mean that your child is very intelligent.

By the age of 4 most children will have lied to avoid punishment of some kind.  Many books and other resources will even advise that you should just let the lies go at this age because they will grow out of it.  The opposite is actually true…the truth is they’ll grow into it if allowed.  Make sure you are explaining why it is important to tell the truth and not lie.

As they age, not only will they lie to avoid punishment, but also to increase their “power”, their sense of control, and as a way of getting more attention.  Many older children will actually make up stories about who they’ve met or things they’ve done, just so others will be impressed by them.

When Should You be Concerned About Your Child Lying

If your child has a sudden dramatic increase in lying, it can be a danger sign of other more serious concerns.  Excessive lying is often a symptom of other underlying issues.

Children who don’t feel good about themselves often lie much more.  We should be trying to determine what the issue may be without expressing anger at the dishonesty.  It is important to make sure our children don’t have low self-esteem.  Low self-esteem can be the root of many other future concerns.

Another reason that children begin to increase their dishonesty is because their parents may be too intrusive.  As children get older, their desire for privacy also increases.  They maintain privacy, individuality and control by controlling the amount of information that they share with their parents.  Too much “where were you”, “what did you do”, “who were you with” will eventually lead to dishonesty.

Children often react by lying when they know or sense that there is an issue in the family.  If parents are fighting, divorcing or if there are other issues within their family, this may be the way they vie for attention and work at getting the fighting parties to work together again.

Acting out can be a cry for help.

Conclusion

Children may lie at all different ages and for all different reasons.  Do your research and pay attention so that their lying is not a red flag for more concern.  Get involved, but do not smother them.  You may even make your family bond stronger.

The CVS Caremark Charitable Trust and CVS Caremark’s “All Kids Can”

They have created this organization to support children with disabilities by raising awareness in our own communities, including our schools, about the importance of inclusion.  They partner with other organizations to help children with disabilities learn, play and succeed.

I am very proud of the fact that my own community supports these types of organizations and has programs set up to raise awareness.  My 4-year old’s preschool has a Muscular Dystrophy Hop-athon where they teach the kids about disabilities and ways to help out.  My 5-year old’s kindergarten class also has a program in their school where they teach the children about autism so that they understand it better and can make choices to help these kids feel included.

In our own home, we talk about how everyone is different in some way and that is what makes life so fun and interesting.  We all have different hair, skin, bodies, personalities…and if not for that, it would be way too boring.  My children are also fortunate enough to be exposed to people in power chairs, which initially can be a bit intimidating for a small child, but they no longer think it is any “different” and understand that some people’s legs just don’t work the same as ours.

Learn more about the CVS Caremark organizations by visiting http://www.cvscaremarkallkidscan.com/.

Please share your story of how you teach disability awareness in your own homes.  This is an important topic and should be discussed.  Have you had an uncomfortable moment with your child when they first came upon some one with a disability?

Our final winner will be receiving a Box-Set of 5 CD’s titled “Tired of Nagging?  Get Your Kids to Cooperate.“  Compliments of Susan P. Epstein, LCSW, Parent Life Coach.  Check out her other products at parentingpowers.com.  This is more than a $400 Value!

I am glad I am not the only one who has questions and concerns about my children’s behavior.  The winner of this final giveaway, as determined by Random.org, is Reiza!

Congratulations Reiza!

Please come back and visit soon for more interesting posts and comments from lots of interesting people.